Disconnecting to reconnect

Hi there, this isn't your typical art blog, filled with polished pieces and upcoming sales. Here, I want to get raw and real with you. It’s been a continuous and conscious effort lately to be more vulnerable and honest with people and therefore myself too. 
Living in the moment is a challenge I face daily, often caught in the trap of dwelling on the past or planning for the future. However, when I shift my perspective and become an observer of my own life, I find peace in the beauty of each moment, both the joyful and the tough ones…
Disconnecting to reconnect
For the most part of my life I was caught up in the rat race, running a relentless routine and keeping up with the image I had built for myself. 
And would ponder on this quote by Leo Tolstoy - 'Truth, like gold, is not obtained by its growth, but by the process of washing away all that is not gold.' 
So I went on my journey to wash away all that is not me :D 
I decided to take a 180 degree turn. Leaving behind a well paying job, a metropolitan city, my flat where I pieced every nook and corner of the house to make it a home, friends that felt like family, and took a much needed break…
You know that lovely lovely thing about disconnecting, it just brings you so much closer to yourself. Disconnecting, ironically, helps you reconnect and rediscover yourself.
This journey led me to the belief that I’m more than how I look, my physicality, my personality, my abilities, my skill sets, the work I do. So who really am I?  Are we just products of our surroundings?  The more I pondered,  the more I realized  "self" might be an illusion, a reflection of the world around us. 
And to hold on to the image we have created, we stop being authentic. Being real, honest and vulnerable feels like a burden… When we hold tightly to the canvas, it becomes harder to draw something new. To feel the moment, to use the colours and to just let your creativity do its magic.
As an artist, I believe it is imperative to be vulnerable in real life to truly let go of inhibitions holding you back from being your utmost creative self.
If and when we truly connect with our ”self”, I believe it’s easier to realise that the entire universe is just an expression and projection of the being - of the SELF. 
Being truly present, cherishing every moment and giving total surrender to the moment is freedom. Everything is already happening in the self and for the self. 
This feeling is rare. Once I had it, it was no less than Nirvana.
Finding true connection with the self is an ongoing process and isn't a simple task; it requires letting go of the ego and embracing the present moment fully. It's about surrendering to the unfolding of life, understanding that everything happens not to us, but for us. 
That’s where this art is inspired from. Connecting with yourself and coming to terms with who you are, rather than what the world says about you is FREEDOM. What you feel within, now becomes an expression. Life becomes better, living becomes meaningful. All your actions have a purpose.
Letting go of anything materialistic and taking life as it comes has let me become an audience to my own life which allows me to appreciate the unfolding moments as they come, and truly savour every moment of it, the sweet, the spicy, the bitter, the salty. After all, who'd like to eat the same dessert for every meal and everyday of their life. These experiences are what makes life and living beautiful. The tough times make the good ones more enjoyable. 
I have the privilege to choose how others draw my image,  or let my circumstances draw for me or just let nature take its course and I watch what happens - And I choose the latter. So much joy in being nature's child and letting the divine lead the path.
I think we all have that divine spark from where we all came (the divine). I am a part of the divine, the aim is not to step out of it but to enjoy the splendor of it.
Longing for the unknown
I believe longing is a feeling that has always remained. Happiness comes and goes. Sadness comes and goes. People come and go. Love also comes in many forms and goes however the senses of longing stay with me. Longing for the unknown, for one true friend, for a companion. Which is why loving someone truly is very sacred and spiritual to me. 
That feeling of longing is so rooted in me. And I think that’s the one thing that resonates with my higher self/ divine. You see, nature has everything in duality: positive and negative, day and  night, male and female, black and white. And as humans we spend our lives balancing between our duality or the lack of it.
And that longing fuels creation. To be more, to do more, to create, to fill the gaps and express what’s buried deep within me. To give life to what I’ve killed in the process of keeping the expectations of the world alive.
That's why I got the tattoo: "Create".  It's a reminder to share my story through my work, to create more, to put myself out there,  because vulnerability is where connection happens…. And I hope to continue rediscovering the essence of life and capturing them in my work.
This blog is a peek into the chaos that inspires my art. We are all part of something bigger, maybe one day this blog or my art will play its parts in a grand story. 
There's no ending, just this ongoing process of "washing away" what isn't real.  Join me on this exploration of self, of vulnerability,  and of finding the beauty in the mess.
With love,
Jaya
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